Friday, May 15, 2009

PAT ROBERTSON......RELIGIOUS TERRORIST OR JUST INSANE

Pat Robertson, the founder of the "700 Club", has been in the news again because of comments he made recently about gay marriage. I had posted, last week, on the comments he had made after Governor John Baldacci (D) signed the marriage equality law which made Maine the fifth state to legalize same sex marriages. As expected, Robertson went off the deep end....again.


Robertson has, in the past, advocated the violent overthrow of the government elected by the all the voters of this country. The following is from a speech Robertson gave on a Sunday morning in October 2003 at the behest of then President(?) George W. Bush. After reading this, you tell me, is he just insane or is he a religious terrorist?


REVEREND PAT ROBERTSON, PILLAR OF PATRIOTIC CHRISTIAN LOVE, UNVEILS GODLY SEVEN-POINT PLAN TO SAVE AMERICA THROUGH GOVERNMENTAL ANNIHILATION


Statement by Rev. Pat Robertson: Assoc. Director, Presidential Prayer Team

REVEREND PAT ROBERTSON: Good morning. Thank you, thank you. It's my great honor to have accepted the President's invitation to address you all from his personal pulpit on this beautiful autumn Sunday. Now inasmuch as my beloved organization, the Christian Coalition of America, not only bankrolled George W. Bush's campaign, but now also dictates the whole of administration policy, the Commander in Chief is eager for me to set the record straight on a few things.

Recently, the news media has accelerated its long-running campaign to undermine right-wing fundamentalist domination. They are doing this by taking statements of mine out of context, and shamelessly twisting their meaning. Specifically, they are attempting to insinuate that my ideas to nuke the State Department and browbeat Jesus into murdering Supreme Court Justices are somehow unpatriotic. My friends, this could not be any further from the truth.

Anyone who knows me knows that it is in fact because of my intense patriotism and love of people that I work actively to see God's vicious anger dispensed upon anyone who would dare stand in the way of my television network reaping billions in tithes from unemployed trailer-dwelling pre-teen mothers. And that is why today, I trust that by presenting my ideas in their proper context – as part of my comprehensive seven-step plan to save America – that the good Christian people of this country will lift their heads up and bellow, "Amen, brother Pat!"

PAT'S SEVEN-STEP PLAN TO SAVE AMERICA FROM NON-FUNDAMENTALIST CHRISTIAN TRASH
  1. Working in partnership with my millionaire televangelist brethren, slowly but steadily lull our despised and inferior political and religious opposition into weak, pathetic complacency through a steady diet of feigned tolerance and empty feel-good rhetoric!
  2. Summon the Lord's mighty thunderbolts of bloody vengeance to righteously smite U.S. State Department closet pinkos, but instead of resorting to showy Iron Age meteorological phenomena, which have proved annoyingly ineffective at killing bureaucrats who never go outside, let them be instead splattered into sanguine plumes of flesh-frying nothingness by Samsonite suitcase nukes!
  3. Pray to Yahweh, infallible white man who sits on a toilet-like White Throne of Judgment on a carpet of stars, defecating the unsaved into a swirling, fecal-stained porcelain portal to Hell, that the remaining liberal Supreme Court Justices – are of whom are old, feeble, and riddled with secret VD even Chinese whores don't get – all fall victim to sudden, career-ending, cranium-imploding brain aneurysms!
  4. Dispatch brave Christian Soldiers to the Hart Senate Office Building, where they shall creep stealthily into the depraved corridors of the Democratic Temple Merchants, and sow holy parcels of purest driven weaponized Anthrax graciously provided to us by our brothers and sisters at Lambs of God Christian Abortion Doctor Killers, LLC!
  5. Persuade the always irascible Lord, to once more become enraged by American citizens, lift His fickle veil of protection, and silently snicker while damnation-bound Arabiacs fly airplanes straight into the black heart of the House Democratic Caucus!
  6. Infiltrate the National Endowment for the Arts – infamous lair of scat fetishists and Vladimir Lenin necrophiles – and brutally stone not only the bloated skulls of its leadership, but also those of the sordid sodomites who revel in its godless grant money!
  7. Finally, inasmuch as the Earth and all her creatures, flora and fauna, are ours to command and to profit from at the expense of the unsaved, remember always what an angel told me: that equal parts gasoline and styrofoam mixed will produce a flammable elixir known as napalm. And verily I say unto thee, may the heads of the EPA shriek as they learn that just as sin cannot be cleansed from their liberal souls, napalm cannot be wiped from their burning flesh! Glory!
I trust this will put everyone at ease, and dispense with any doubts they may have had about my deep-seeded benevolence.

Amen.


He even turned the whole fucking thing into a prayer!


15 comments:

Nancy said...

I hope he joins his pal, Jerry Falwell, where "fires of eternal hell" are burning.

Grandpa Eddie said...

Nancy - I'm really surprised this racist asshat hasn't croaked yet.

Nancy said...

I wonder what's taking him so long? Maybe he'll stay around long enough to see his followers throw him into the dustbin of history.

Grandpa Eddie said...

Nancy - I think if there really was a god he/she would have taken the old sonofabitch already for all the lies and hate he's spread.

Riot Kitty said...

Why IS it taking him so long to croak off? I remember when Jerry Falwell left this world, a really great t-shirt I saw: One down, two to go (as in Pat Robertson and Fred Phelps.)

Nancy said...

As Dana Carvey's Church Lady used to say, "Could it be SATAN?!?!"

Gordon said...

Answer to your title question: Pretty much just insane.

Woody (Tokin Librul/Rogue Scholar/ Helluvafella!) said...

Call the 700 Club 800 line and ask them to pray for the two poor captive squirrels chained to the side of pat's head...

it serves three purposes: Gigs that narcissistic old fucker, costs the company money, and sometimes gets a giggle from the phone-person...

Grandpa Eddie said...

Riot Kitty - Wish I had one of those T-shirts that said Two down, One to go.

Nancy - It is.

Gordon - Insane terrorist wannabe.

Woody - I take it that you've done that before.

ZIRGAR said...

THere's an inherent discrepancy in these people's beliefs, namely they want both Heaven and Earth to be Heaven, but if they just believed half of what their Bible teaches they'd know that this can never be and is a theological impossibility...until Christ returns after the Tribulation. A Christian's purpose is to live a pious life, win souls for Christ and then recieve reward for those accomplishments in Heaven. They're teh eones talking about fighting for saving this country, when the Bible clearly says the world will diminish. I'm not saying I buy any of it, but those are key Biblical precepts. Robertson is a turd.

SheaNC said...

Let's see... Terrorist... Insane... Terrorist... Insane... Terrorist... Insane...

Aw, the world is full of possibilities. I say he's both!

Grandpa Eddie said...

ZIRGAR - One does not have to believe their teachings to know what they are supposed to be doing. I spent a good 5-6 years studying their teachings and beliefs, but that doesn't mean I believe their stories and fairy tales.

Robertson and his ilk have completely distorted the teachings of their "Christ" and the vision he/she had for their world here.

Grandpa Eddie said...

Shea - Both...that's pretty much what I figured.

One Fly said...

Crazy as a fucking loon he his as well as his mind screwed followers.

Grandpa Eddie said...

One Fly - Yes he is and yes they are.