Sunday, May 10, 2009


I was just going to leave this alone. Then I read a post that ZenYenta put up last night. She got me thinking about my own mother and how much I missed her.

My mother was a saint. She would help anyone who was in need. Having graduated from high school in the midst of the Great Depression, she knew first hand what it was like to have to go without things that she wanted. She learned a lot about surviving on just a little, and I think she did a pretty good job of teaching me how to do the same.

Mom never worked away from home much. When I was very young, she had a part-time job during the summer months working at the local A&W drive-in as a cook. After that, she would do ironing for people, because she could stay home and still help bring money into the household.

Mom's main "career" was being a mother, housewife, and homemaker. We almost always had home cooked meals. It was rare when mom would make something out of a box, at least until the later years. There were always homemade cookies, which my brother and I, along with our buddies, would devour almost as soon as they were out of the oven. Along with the cookies there were cakes, donuts, and homemade bread. It seemed like mom was always cooking something.

Mom was always there for me to talk to when I needed an ear to just listen, something I never had with my father. It's not that my dad wasn't around, because he was always there, he just wasn't one I could talk to. I believe I learned more about life, and how to deal with problems in life, from my mother than anyone else.

Now comes the sad part of the story.

Mom had gotten to a point that she could not take care of herself. Her health was starting to fail, she had had a heart attack and was told she needed surgery to open an artery that was 95% blocked. She refused the surgery saying that she was too old. It wasn't long after that that she needed to be placed in a home to make sure she would get the care she needed. My brother was in California at the time and I was unable to take care of her because of the circumstances I found myself in at the time.

Within a year, mom's mental and physical health started to go down hill. It got to the point that she didn't recognize me or any of my kids when we went to see her. It wasn't long and mom got sick with pneumonia and had to be hospitalized.

Early in the morning of Mother's Day 2003 mom took a turn for the worse. I received a phone call that she wasn't doing good a probably would not make it through the day. I headed to the hospital with my eldest son, who was very close to his grandma. We didn't get there quick enough. My mom had passed away before we could get there and say good-bye.

I didn't get to say Happy Mother's Day to her that day, and I didn't get to tell her that I loved her. Mother's Day is hard for me to get through. I still miss my mom to this day.

To all the Moms out there I wish a very Happy Mother's Day.

To all the Moms kid's, spend as much time as you can with your mom because one day she won't be here anymore.

To my Mom, Happy Mother's Day Mom! I love you and miss you.


HermitJim said...

Hey Eddie...
Good post, my friend. I'm sure that whereever your Mom is, she hears you when you say "I love you".

Nice to have some good memories of Mom, for sure. Mine is still here and I tell her often that I love her!

Grandpa Eddie said...

Thanks Jim.

I'm sure mom new I loved her, I would tell her every time I saw her.

I'm glad you still have your mom with you. Tell her Happy Mother's Day for me, would ya.

Riot Kitty said...

Oh, sweet post! I am sure your mom knew how much you loved her. It is very obvious that you still do.

Grandpa Eddie said...

Riot Kitty - Thanks kid.

Yes, she knew, and I still do and always will.

David Aquarius said...

Moms are cool that way. They can look you in the eye and know what you're thinking even if you haven't thought it yet.

Yeah, your mom knew. She always knew.

They sacrifice it all for us and ask little in return because, as my mom says: "You're all still a work in progress!" Then she tells us to clean our room.

Want to know how much your mom cared? Look into the eyes of your children. They are the legacy your mother instilled in you. If they make you proud, then your mom is very proud of you.

Woody (Tokin Librul/Rogue Scholar/ Helluvafella!) said...

Eddie, by this time in our lives it finally becomes clear that you're never too old to be an orphan. In some ways, for men anyway, i think you don't really grow up til then...

I am glad your memories of your mom are fond, if painful.

Grandpa Eddie said...

David - Thanks pal. That little bit meant a lot. I know mom was proud of me 'cause I sure am damn proud of all my kids.

I think I better go clean my room now.

Grandpa Eddie said...

Woody - You are so right my friend. One is never too old to be an orphan.

It's just the very last memories that are painful, all the rest are wonderful and very comforting. This is the only day I have a real problem with the painful memories.

Nancy said...

Eddie, as a Mom, I can say I would be damn proud of having a son like you. I'm pretty sure you must have busted her buttons with pride. Thank you for posting your heartfelt thoughts about her.

Grandpa Eddie said...

Nancy - Thank you. I know mom was proud of me, she did tell me that quite often when I was growing up. It was about the only positive parental input I got, but then everything I got from mom was positive.

themom said...

Trust me...she knew. I have a weird side to me (shock) and I tease my kids, but they know it is the truth...I don't want them ever to think there was something unsaid, or feel guilty because there were never enough "I love yous" - because I know!

And my son has assured me he will put me in the nicest nursing home money can buy!!! He's terrific.

Mother's know everything about their kids, whether they believe it or not.

Grandpa Eddie said...

themom - There were always a lot of "I love yous" between mom and I, and I carried that practice on with my own kids. My eldest two are daughter 35 and son 33, and they both still hug the old man and tell him they love him, and I tell them, too.

You've got a very fine son there. You did a great job of raising him.